Every couple has at least one song they never want to hear at their wedding. Maybe it was the soundtrack to a bad break-up, maybe you heard it at every wedding last summer, or maybe it just makes your teeth itch. That is what a wedding do not play list is for. It is a short note to your DJ saying "anything but these", and it is one of the easiest ways to make the night feel like yours.
Why couples make a do-not-play list
It isn't about being fussy. A do-not-play list helps because:
- It protects the moments that matter. You don't want a song with painful memories turning up during your first hour on the dance floor.
- It keeps the night feeling personal. If you have heard the same few songs at every wedding this year, cutting them makes yours stand out.
- It avoids awkwardness. Some songs just don't suit a room with your grandparents, your boss and your new in-laws in it.
- It saves arguments on the night. If a guest asks for a banned song, your DJ can politely say no without you getting dragged into it.
Songs that commonly end up on the list
Every couple's list is different, but most banned songs fall into a few familiar groups.
Overplayed favourites
These are songs people love, which is exactly the problem. Some couples have simply heard them too many times. Common examples are "Mr. Brightside" by The Killers, "Sweet Caroline" by Neil Diamond and "Shut Up and Dance" by Walk the Moon. There is no wrong answer here. If a song makes you groan, ban it, and if it makes you happy, keep it, no matter how often it gets played.
Novelty songs and line dances
This is the biggest category on most lists. Think of:
- "Macarena" by Los del Río
- "Agadoo" by Black Lace
- "Cha Cha Slide" by DJ Casper
- "Cotton Eye Joe" by Rednex
- "Y.M.C.A." by Village People
- "Gangnam Style" by PSY
- "Baby Shark" by Pinkfong
Some couples ban all of them. Others keep one for the kids or for a bit of fun late in the night. It is worth being clear about which way you lean, because a line dance can fill a floor in one room and empty it in another.
Songs linked to an ex
Nobody needs a reminder of an old relationship on their wedding day. If there is a song you shared with an ex, or one that a partner's ex is known for, add it to the list. You don't need to explain why. Your DJ won't ask.
Explicit lyrics with older guests around
Plenty of great dance songs have lyrics you wouldn't want your granny hearing at full volume. You have two options:
- Ban the song entirely.
- Ask your DJ to play the clean (radio edit) version, and save anything a little rougher for later in the night when the older crowd has gone home.
Songs that bring the mood down
Very sad songs, songs associated with a funeral or a loss in the family, and anything that might upset someone close to you are worth flagging. If you are not sure, ask a parent quietly. They often know which songs carry memories for the older side of the family.
How to balance it with guests' requests
The trick is to keep the list short. A do-not-play list with five or ten songs gives your DJ clear direction. A list with fifty songs starts to tie their hands, and it can mean saying no to a lot of guests on the night.
A few tips:
- Ban songs, not genres. "No country music" might rule out a song your uncle loves that would actually get everyone up. Name specific tracks where you can.
- Think about your guests. If your parents' friends love a particular song, consider letting it through for one play.
- Decide how strict to be. Some couples say "never, even if asked". Others say "only if a lot of people request it". Tell your DJ which you mean.
- Pair it with a must-play list. Telling your DJ what you love is more useful than telling them what you hate. Our list of Irish wedding floor fillers is a good place to start.
Guest requests are part of the fun at an Irish wedding, so leave room for them. If you want to steer what people ask for, some couples put a "request a song" line on the invitation or the table plan, which also gives your DJ a sense of the crowd before the day.
How DJ G uses your must-play and do-not-play lists
With DJ G Beats, the playlist is planned with you before the wedding. That covers three things:
- Your first dance, including any edit to the length. Our guide to first dance songs in Ireland has ideas if you are still deciding.
- Your must-plays, the songs you would be disappointed not to hear.
- Your do-not-plays, the songs that stay off the night, full stop.
Guest requests are taken on the night, and your do-not-play list is the filter they go through. So if someone asks for a song you have banned, it doesn't get played and you never have to deal with it.
It is also a good idea to raise your list when you first speak to any DJ. If you are interviewing a few, our list of questions to ask a wedding DJ includes how they handle requests and banned songs.
A quick do-not-play checklist
Before you send your list, run through these:
- Any songs linked to an ex or a sad memory?
- Any novelty songs or line dances you want gone?
- Any songs you are sick of hearing at weddings?
- Any explicit songs that need a clean version, or should wait until late?
- Have you checked with your partner? (This one causes more debate than you'd think.)
- Is the list short enough to leave room for guest requests?
Check your date
DJ G Beats is a wedding DJ based in Athlone, covering the Midlands and all of Ireland. Your first dance, must-plays and do-not-plays are planned with you before the day, so the music feels like yours from start to finish. To see if your date is free, check your date or call 087 355 7696.
